Confession.

I have a confession to make.

 

A big one.

 

One that has me feeling like I haven’t been completely honest with you. I consider us sisters, a girl gang, a Spanx wearing, wine loving tribe – and I hate that I haven’t been transparent with you.

Over the last 6 months I’ve been in hiding – carb loading, emotional, and a little (read: A LOT) drained. BUT, I’ve been in this place for you. For us. For our sisterhood.

 

So, here’s to you:

 

“To the girl bosses and the CEOs of the household. To helicopter moms, cool moms, single moms and dog moms. To the women who feel like they are burning the candle at both ends working split-shift jobs and showing up late for T-ball games. To the women who intentionally chose not to have children, who live and breathe by grabbing a seat at the boardroom table or C-suite, and women who are gypsies and fully live a life of creativity and wonder. To the women who eat their feelings and refer to wine as just another one of their girlfriends (remind me to call Kim Crawford later). To the women who keep everything together even when it seems like it’s all falling apart. To the women who dream and the women who think they have forgotten how to dream.”

 

I wrote a book for YOU.

 

To remind you that…

 “You are brave, strong and resilient. You have the power to change the world and the lies it tells us. But to do that, you have to bend and flex, ebb and flow. You have to shatter the stiff, cold glass slipper. The slipper that doesn’t allow you to move with grace when life deals you a blow. The slipper that restricts your movement and squeezes you into someone else’s idea of perfection. The slipper that makes you feel fragile and easy to fracture.

 

Break the mold by taking back the truths about WHO you are and WHAT you can achieve. Push aside the myths, lies and bullshit that have you feeling “less than.” Once you do, the only thing you’ll fear at midnight is whether or not you have clean underwear for tomorrow. “

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THE BOOK IS TITLED BREAKING THE GLASS SLIPPER.

 Breaking the Glass Slipper has been a labor of love, and finally telling you about it feels like taking off your bra at the end of a long day. It’s freeing, and if I’m honest, almost euphoric – like angels orchestrating the biggest symphony above us. Cue the lights and set your calendar for August 23rd, 2018. On this day, I candidly share with you the mission my fashion business has set me on. A mission that debunks the myths that are holding women back.

 

I hope you will join me on this raw, hilarious, and painfully honest journey, or as we like to call it, movement. My goal with ALL of this is for us to share, connect and inspire one another. Every week until the release of the book on August 23rd, I will share a #BreaktheGlassSlipper story with you that reflects back to each chapter in the book. Next week we will start with our first chapter the Myth: Fashion is Frivolous and go from there. This should be fun! (and maybe a little cleansing)

 

Please join our email list (click here) to learn more about the book. We will keep you informed of the latest updates, happenings and all things worth sharing with regard to Breaking the Glass Slipper.

 

Cant wait to begin this incredible journey with you!

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XO, Elaine

 

 

 

The Shoulda, Coulda, Wouldas

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As human beings we are often programmed to live life in forward retrospect. While time is moving forward your mind keeps going back. I like to call this a case of the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. Often times this is brought on by menial daily things like ‘I shoulda said something to that mom who looked at my daughter a little crooked- she knows nothing about our life.” Or, “I coulda managed that employee differently.” Or, “If I woulda known she was a raging lunatic, I wouldn’t have invited her into my home for girl’s night.” Most of these things can be handled with an extra glass of wine, a more developed managerial plan, or a pass on the girl’s night in favor of staying in and eating takeout in bed.

But, when tragedy strikes the shoulda, coulda wouldas aren’t as easily solved.

You find yourself at a loss for words or even the ability intellectualize what has happened. Your brain is foggy for days or even weeks as you process emotions you didn’t know you were capable of. The shoulda, coulda, wouldas aren’t as concrete now as they were when it came to the mean moms or problem employee. The tragic shoulda, coulda, wouldas can suffocate you. Leave you feeling helpless and sometimes hopeless.

The recent passing of an icon, Kate Spade, had me in shock for days. Though I never met her, our lives were very much paralleled. We both had fashion businesses we built with our husbands. She started her business a few years before I did and I always looked to her as a beacon of hope. If she could do it, maybe I could too? Even though the first handbag factory I met with in Brooklyn rejected me by saying “I only make Kate Spade handbags” I never felt at odds with her- no not even in the slightest. I had this feeling that we were both just two women who believed in ourselves and wanted to live our dreams everyday.

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When the alert came through on my phone about Kate’s suicide it brought me to my knees. I was truly sad, as though I had lost a friend. To be honest, wasn’t Kate everyone’s friend? Even if you didn’t carry her products, there is no doubt the corners of your mouth turn upward when you see her brand. I poured myself into reading all the articles I could about her in an effort to find answers. The shoulda, coulda, wouldas crept into my mind – the illusive questions that we will never know because we are thinking of them in retrospect.

As I read more and more about her, I started to understand our similarities and how creativity, art and design fuels us. But, I also got to thinking about how draining living a creative life can be. You pour your heart into creating something people may or may not like or even worse into things that never come to life. And, in Kate and I’s case we are both under the pressure of running businesses tied to our creativity. The pervasive feeling of having to move on to the next thing to create something bigger and better feels like a hamster wheel of never feeling ‘done’ or ‘brilliant’ enough. It can be lonely and intoxicating all at the same time.

Should we have seen this coming? Could someone have helped? Would the help have made a difference? We will never know.

But what I do know is this. The retrospective shoulda, coulda, wouldas are healthy for a little while, and then they are debilitating. We cannot trap ourselves in the past in hopes of changing it.

We can shoulda, coulda, woulda to learn but not to live.

As my business has changed over the years I have caught myself ‘reminiscing’ in the shoulda, coulda, wouldas more than I should. I have let myself get bogged down with answers I’ll never know about scenarios that will never replay themselves. I’ve learned through a series of both fortunate and unfortunate events that life will keep moving without you. If you allow yourself to stay back with the shoulda, coulda, wouldas the life you eventually go back to has moved on without you. You have to show up everyday. You have to fight the good fight. You have to live with purpose- even when the shoulda, coulda, wouldas invade your psyche.

You SHOULDN’T fall backwards while trying to move forward. Think of what you COULD miss, WOULD you really want that? Because, it’s right here, right now, where we find each other, and with each other we have all we need.

Rest in peace Kate. I hope heaven is as colorful as the legacy you left behind.

XO, Elaine

Hot off the press.

Spring fever is setting in, and in true Elaine fashion I have started my spring cleaning. Nothing is quite as euphoric as throwing something away. Actually that’s not true- I can tell you several things that are more euphoric, but let’s just say tossing junk is in my top 10.

It is around this time of year that I step back and take stock of what really matters. Over time things collect, both in our spaces and in our minds. So, it is incredibly healthy (and satisfying) to de-clutter in all senses- from your noggin to your nooks and crannies.

As the years of spring cleaning have passed, I have realized that my most valued things are not actually things- they are experiences. I have been able to relinquish “stuff” as I have realized that moments are all I need. Moments spent with people, connecting and sharing. So, in honor of dusting off cobwebs, tossing out the old, and relishing in the new  I thought I’d share some connections I have made recently that I have truly enjoyed.

 

THRIVE GLOBAL

I am a girl boss hear me roar! Click here to read my top 5 leadership lessons that I have crafted after 18 years of entrepreneurship. Don’t worry, there is humor involved. Not all things ‘business’ have to be stuffy- although I do talk about stuffing myself into Spanx and how it taught me a valuable business lesson.

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SACRED SPACES

All creatures of habit raise your hand! Click here to read all about how I have created my own sacred space and get a peek inside my home! Now, if only it was socially acceptable for me to put Kim Crawford in a sippy cup and go to bed at 7:30…

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Leave a comment below with your spring rituals and/or a recent connection that you loved!

XO, Elaine